Letters to My Baby – Living is Learning
The “A Letter to My…” series has been an incredible experience that has given us an opportunity to hear touching stories from people in all walks of life. And as we continue to receive even more heartfelt letters for A Letter to My Baby we wanted to share some of them a little early. This is planned to be an ongoing series that will give a glimpse of what is to come from the project and book.
This featured letter comes from Christina, a working mother of three who writes about DIY projects, tips, recipes, and thoughts for busy families on her site Boogers and Baby Wipes.
Thank you, thank you for choosing me to be your mommy. You have taught me more about myself in the past 5 years than I ever knew possible. After 20 hours of labor I learned that I do have a pain tolerance. I have also learned that I can function on 3 hours of sleep. I have learned what croup sounds like first hand. I have learned how to sleep in a rocking chair sitting up while holding a 9 month old baby covered in Vics with a humidifier blowing in my face. I have learned to laugh at myself while covered in vomit. I have learned how to clean up vomit! I have learned how to put someone else before myself. Before you, I was very selfish. Ask daddy, I never shared my restaurant leftovers with him. Now, I have become accustomed to taking 2 bites of my food before handing it over to you. I have learned that food is food, God I used to be so picky! Now, if it is edible and in front of me I will eat it…that is until you want it! I have learned to love unconditionally. I have learned to ask for help. And I have learned what being scared really feels like. After only holding you for a minute, the NICU doctors took you away. Even through my exhaustion, I felt the pain of you being taken. No mom should have to watch doctors take her newborn baby away. I learned what helpless feels like and that feeling came the first time you had a 103 fever. I learned where your head goes when you lose your child in a crowded store. It is a dark and awful place, no mom should ever feel that. I learned that I can love more than one child. I was nervous when I was pregnant with your sister, I thought I may never love her as much as you. I was worried you would get jealous and not like her. But then I learned what it feels like to have my heart filled with not just the love of one child, but three. I learned that you would be an amazing big sister and that makes my heart happy.
I learned that I can fix almost anything with just a simple kiss and hug. I love your kisses and hugs! I learned that my favorite sound is hearing you laugh and my least favorite is hearing you cry. I learned patience while watching you do something for the first time. Wanting to jump in and help you is my first instinct, but I have learned to let you try on your own. Sometimes you will fail. But many times you will succeed, and those moments are amazing! I learned that after a long day at work, hearing about your awesome day makes all the wrongs of my day vanish. I have learned that I love hide and seek! I have also learned to be crafty and use a glue gun. Pinterest has become one of our favorite things to explore together!
But, the most important thing I have learned is that without you, my life would be empty. Without you, my days would be boring. And that my best day without you would never be as good as my worst day as a mom. So, thank you for letting me be your mom. I don’t know what the years ahead will bring but I am sure there will be ups and downs, tears and hugs, laughter and sadness. Just know that even though the situations change, my love for you never will. Dear baby, I love you!